Friendship is one of the most beautiful gifts given to us by God. We can all agree that life is better when shared with people who love us, challenge us, pray for us, and stand by us through thick and thin.
But not all friendships are built on the right foundation. And not all friends are good friends. So as Christians, how can we identify the traits of a good friend? And more importantly, how can we be that kind of friend?
In this article, we will discuss what God says about friendship, and how we can build meaningful relationships that glorify Him.
The Heart of a Good Person.
Before we talk about being a good friend, let’s talk about being a good person. Because friendship begins with the heart.
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
A good person has a good heart. Not a perfect heart, but one that seeks after God.The idea of having a “good heart” is very important in the Christian life.
As Christians we believe that the heart is more than the part of the body that pumps blood. It stands for the center of who we are – our thoughts, feelings, choices, and beliefs.That’s why God looks at the heart, not just our actions.
The heart is where our love for God and people begins. It is the foundation of our moral, spiritual, and emotional life.
When someone has a good heart, it means they want to do what is right, love others, and follow God.A good heart helps us live the kind of life that pleases God.
What Makes a Good Person?
A good person is someone who tries to reflect the character of Christ in their everyday life. When we know what God stands for we can see that he is truly good.
The concept of good is rooted in the character of God, who is the ultimate standard of goodness. Being good is not about being better than others or never making mistakes. It’s about loving God and allowing Him to shape you from the inside out.
Here are some things that make a person “good” in a godly sense:
#1. Compassion.
Compassion is a gentle but powerful trait of a good person. As a Christian, you must be compassionate, not only to others but to yourself too. A lot of the time, it’s easier to offer compassion and understanding to others while being extremely hard on ourselves.
The Bible in Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Good-hearted people make self-compassion a focal point of their lives because it helps them understand themselves and others more deeply. They’re not quick to judge or condemn. Instead, they listen, care, and seek to uplift people in their lowest moments.
#2. Forgiveness.
This is a big one because forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. It’s like someone piercing you and you still give them the opportunity to pierce you again. The anger alone can be overwhelming.
In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus tells us, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Letting go can be hard, but we must understand the weight of bitterness and how it can quietly destroy a soul. You don’t have to pretend like it’s easy, but you can choose to work through your pain.
The truth is holding onto unforgiveness only harms you more. So hand the issue to God, let go, and allow God to heal you.
#3. Gratitude.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:18
A good-hearted person doesn’t take the goodness of God or people for granted. But they openly express gratitude for the little things, the big things, and everything in between.
They train their minds to believe that God is still good, even when things don’t go their way. As Christians, gratitude must be part of our daily life because we know it shifts the heart toward joy and peace.
#4. Generosity.
A person with a good heart gives not because they expect anything in return, or want to be praised or recognized, but because their hearts are moved with empathy and love.
This kind of generosity is quiet, genuine, and full of grace. They may give their time, their attention, their resources, or their skills. And they do it with joy, knowing that they are serving God by serving others.
“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” – 2 Corinthians 9:7
#5. Humility.
Humility is another beautiful trait of a good-hearted person. They know they are valuable, but they also know they are not better than anyone else. They don’t walk around with pride or ego. Instead, they recognize that all they have and all they are come from God.
The Bible in James 4:10 tells us to humble ourselves before the Lord, and he will lift us up.
When you are humble, you will not seek the spotlight or chase applause. Rather, you will be content with serving quietly, lifting others up, and giving God the glory for everything in your life. Humility helps us stay grounded and deeply connected to others.
Christ: The Ultimate Friend.
Jesus is the ultimate example of a good friend. In John 15:13, He says, Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends .That’s exactly what He did. He laid down His life for us.
Not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, and completely. He loved us when we were unlovable. He stayed faithful even when we were unfaithful. He never left. He never gave up.
When we think about what it means to be a good friend, we must look to Christ. He was:
- Sacrificial – He gave everything.
- Faithful – He stuck around even when people denied Him, betrayed Him, or doubted Him.
- Empathetic – He wept with His friends. He listened. And He cared.
- Encouraging – He reminded people of who they truly were and the hope they had in God.
If we want to be good friends, we have to become more like Jesus. Not just in church, but everywhere we find ourselves.
Traits of a Good Friend.
Quality friendships make life more meaningful and are good for your health. So, what does a good friend actually look like in our day-to-day lives?
Here are some practical, godly traits of a good friend:
1. You Can Trust Them.
A good close friend is honest and speaks from the heart with good intentions. They tell you what you need to hear in a respectful and loving manner. Because you know they have your best interests at heart, you can trust them enough to be vulnerable with them and share your insecurities.
2. You Can Depend On Them.
A good friend tries their best to show up and keep their promises, even in the midst of tough times. However, that doesn’t mean they’ll be dependable in every situation. For example, you may have a friend who is always running late, but you know you can depend on them when you need to talk.
3. They are Loyal.
While blind loyalty can cause you to overlook red flags and toxic traits, true friends are generally loyal to their people. A friend who values loyalty sticks by you through your highs and lows, offering a helping hand or a listening ear whenever they can. They listen to your side of the story, give you the benefit of the doubt, and defend you when you deserve it.
They Are Empathetic.
Empathy is the ability to understand other peoples’ emotions and experiences, and a good friend does this easily. If you’re distraught because you didn’t get a promotion, for example, this friend does their best to put themselves in your shoes so they can offer you more thoughtful and meaningful words of encouragement. If they know you really well, they might intuit your feelings before you express them, and comfort you before you even expected it.
Also read: Bible Verses About Friendship.
Become The Friend You Wish You Had.
This is simply a call for us to be better, “be the change you want to see in the world” and it is the truth. Before you start complaining about others, ask yourself “how can I be of service?’
Longing for deep, meaningful, and vibrant friendships is a normal part of being human. However, even good desires can become selfish if our motivation is wrong. A lot of times, we focus on our expectations of others and not on what we can give in return. So before you do anything, look within and ask yourself, “Am I the friend I wish I had?”
It’s easy to list out what we want in a friend. But it’s harder to become that friend. If you want honest friends, be honest. If you want supportive friends, be supportive. If you want friends who pray for you, start praying for others. If you want friends who make time for you, start reaching out.
Don’t wait for the “perfect” people to come into your life. Start planting seeds of the kind of friendship you desire, and in time, you’ll find yourself surrounded by people who reflect those same values.
It’s also important to remember that people are growing, just like you. So learn to give grace and be patient with people. Because friendships take work. Sometimes, being a good friend means letting go.
Not every friendship will last forever and that’s okay. Some friendships are for a season. But your calling to be a godly, loving, Christ-reflecting friend should not change.
Conclusion.
Friendship is a gift but it’s also a responsibility. As Christians, we’re called to love deeply, to walk in truth, and to reflect Christ in all our relationships.
True friendship isn’t about finding the right people but about becoming the right friend.Let’s remember this: the best friend you’ll ever have is Jesus.
And as you grow in Him, you’ll become the kind of friend that attracts and nurtures godly relationships.
