In times passed, Men who were inspired by the Spirit of God wrote about God, mankind, and their relationship across history.
In these literary texts are stories, writings, and funny bible quotes that are relatable to you and I. They also capture the idiosyncracies of both God and the Human race. To date, these men and women, well within their rights, are revered as leaders who made both Kingdom and earthly impact.
Within this blog post, you will find a list of funny bible verses laced with humor types from dark humor to human folly curated from years of personal bible reading and research. You can expect to find some of the rarest and, possibly, the funniest bible verses there is.
Fingers crossed; this could be your best read of the day.
25 Funniest Bible verses that will make your day.
Funny Bible Verses taken out of context.
Exodus 32:9 NCV.
The LORD said to Moses, “I have seen these people, and I know that they are very stubborn.
Genesis 19:5
ESV: And they called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, that we may know them.”
Genesis 19:6-7
Lot went out to the men at the entrance, shut the door after him, and said, “I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly.
Genesis 19:9-10
But they said, “Stand back!” And they said, “This fellow came to sojourn, and he has become the judge! Now we will deal worse with you than with them.” Then they pressed hard against the man Lot, and drew near to break the door down.
1 Timothy 5:13 [NLT]
And if they are on the list, they will learn to be lazy and will spend their time gossiping from house to house, meddling in other people’s business and talking about things they shouldn’t.
1 Timothy 5:15
For I am afraid that some of them have already gone astray and now follow Satan.
Exodus 32:22-24
And Aaron said, “Let not the anger of my lord burn hot. You know the people, that they are set on evil. For they said to me, ‘Make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’
commentary: Aaron is trying to save his neck or to save face by excusing his wrongdoing with the stony-heartedness of man.
Mark 9:33-34
After they arrived at Capernaum and settled in a house, Jesus asked his disciples, “What were you discussing out on the road?” But they didn’t answer, because they had been arguing about which of them was the greatest.
Mark 14:50-52
Then everyone deserted him and fled. A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.
Funny Bible Verses King James .
Proverbs 2:18-19
KJV: For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead. None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life.
commentary: It is the statistical assurance for me. 100 out of 100 males lured by the forbidden woman meets a dire consequence. So clinically dangerous is her way.
Ezekiel 4:11-13
KJV: Thou shalt drink also water by measure, the sixth part of an hin: from time to time shalt thou drink. And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight. And the LORD said, Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them.
commentary: God pronounces just judgement over Israel and Judah with extreme prejudice. Ezekiel understands that as a descriptive prophet, he has to demonstrate and live out this barrage and onslaught of judgement though minimized and shortened.
Ezekiel 4:14
Then said I, Ah Lord GOD! behold, my soul hath not been polluted: for from my youth up even till now have I not eaten of that which dieth of itself, or is torn in pieces; neither came there abominable flesh into my mouth.
commentary; Ezekiel bursts out in exclamation. He goes on to plead and negotiate a less punitive demonstration with valid reasons too.
Ezekiel 4:15
KJV: Then he said unto me, Lo, I have given thee cow’s dung for man’s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith.
commentary: This verse humorously shows God’s compromise with Ezekiel, allowing him to use cow dung instead of human excrement for baking bread.
Song of Songs 7:4
KJV: Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bathrabbim: thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus.
commentary: This poetic description of physical features in Song of Songs can be seen as humorous due to its exaggerated and romanticized nature.
Acts 19:16
And the man in whom the evil spirit was leaped on them, and overcame them, and prevailed against them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded.
commentary: When you are horseplaying with matters you you thought you were skillful at but truly don’t fully understand them and then it backfires.
Luke 22:31
And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:
The Message Bible Funny Verses.
1 Chronicles 19:4-5
MSG: So Hanun seized David’s envoys, shaved off half of each man’s beard, cut off their robes at the buttocks, and sent them away. When David was told about this, he sent messengers to meet the men, for they were greatly humiliated. The king said, “Stay at Jericho till your beards have grown, and then come back.”
1 Samuel 6:4
MSG: They asked, “What guilt offering should we send back to him?” The priests answered, “Five gold tumors and five gold rats, according to the number of the Philistine rulers, because the same plague has struck both you and your rulers.”
1 Samuel 28:11-12
Then the woman said, “Whom shall I bring up for you?” He said, “Bring up Samuel for me.” 12When the woman saw Samuel, she cried out with a loud voice. And the woman said to Saul, “Why have you deceived me? You are Saul.”
1 Samuel 28:18-19
Worse yet, God is turning Israel, along with you, over to the Philistines. Tomorrow you and your sons will be with me. And, yes, indeed, God is giving Israel’s army up to the Philistines.”
Commentary: This verse is so hilarious when you realize the above speech was made by the Spirit of Samuel from the other side of the living.
Isaiah 36:12
MSG: But the commander said, “Do you think my master sent this message only to you and your master? He wants everyone in the city to hear it. The men will have to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine, just as you will.”
commentary: Personally, I find battle rhetorics and rants to be hilarious. The Commander of Syria forces at that time was going all out; trash-talking and banting Judah. He lost the battle anyway. This is quite similar to modern-day football banter.
Proverbs 21:19
MSG: Better to live in a tent on the roof than share a mansion with a quarrelsome spouse.
Proverbs 11:22
MSG: Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head.
commentary: I comment my reserve. I don’t want any trouble.
Acts 20:9-10
MSG: Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus. As Paul went on and on, Eutychus fell sound asleep and toppled out of the third-story window. When they picked him up, he was dead. Paul went down, stretched himself on him, and hugged him hard. “No more crying,” he said. “There’s life in him yet.”
commentary: Eutychus falls asleep during Paul’s long and probably boring sermon. He ends up falling out of a window. He was bored to death literary.
2 Kings 2:23
MSG: Elisha left Jericho to go to Bethel. Along the way, some little kids came out of the town and taunted him, “What’s up, skinhead? Get lost, skinhead!”
commentary: So disrespectfully funny. This type of joke gets us unprepared at first. Then we try to keep a straight face after one or two snickers.
Wrap-up: Hilarious Bible Verses.
What a masterpiece the Bible is right?
Do you agree? The Bible is an interesting piece of rich literature and not solely a collection of boring rules and concocted ideas as many people falsely presume.
Did you find these Bible verses funny?
I know I did. They are so hilarious I compiled them and plan to keep updating them in the future so that you could have a good laugh which by the way reduces stress. Yes, I care for you like that.
I also want to ask you to extend this love by sharing the blog post with someone who loves or could love The Bible more.
